I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
