I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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