elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
