Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
please don't ironically join a cult
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