O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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