He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
