I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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