what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
they're like a gay fantastic four
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
