just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
