Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize