Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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