Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize