I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
