he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
This is the high leading the old right now
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship