I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
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Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested