Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
