BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
