I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
