I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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