That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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