New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
