I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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