Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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