Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
