Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Alive.
So much puke
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
