I think I can smell my own vagina right now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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