He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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