he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
