I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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