no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
