So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
