just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
