Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
