Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
