We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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