Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
