i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
