Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
