I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
