Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize