There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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