So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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