im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
