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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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