I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
