I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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