I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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