I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
