I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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