Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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