i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I won the penis lottery.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
