Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
