How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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