Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
