So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
