That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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