i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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