strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
