I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
