I hate your face
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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